he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
so he was shitfaced and kept using sticky notes to label everything like "beer spill" and "going to fuck later"
Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
last night we stole an a/c window unit from a frat. gonna be a great summer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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