ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
I just had sex on a roof
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
I noticed while having sex on Friday that I have great endurance. CrossFit works.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
