I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
Just ate a chocolate chip cookie upside down. This is what having a degree does for you.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
If my vagina were a person, it just ran a marathon.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
