Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
No I am not eating basil off your cock
It was a sobriety test blowjob. If he could get it up, he could get me home.
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I'm working on a search warrant...can u pick up box of Chardonnay...I'll give u cash when u get here...
Yea... I love that ur a prosecutor and drink box wine
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.