The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
her vagina looked like bernie madoff
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
If I brought two seashells to Lowe's, do you think that they'd drill two holes in each shell for me? I need to be a mermaid on Saturday...
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
We swapped clothes. He left in a v-neck and I left in a tuxedo. Classiest walk of shame or the gayest?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Ended up in some house where this dude has a $1200 leopard cat