Texts From Last Night

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  (904): View more from Florida

  I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.

  (1-904): View more from Florida

  It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.

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  (904): I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling. (1-904): It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that. http://tfl.nu/i3bg
  Replies (28) Good night (876) Bad night (2191)
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  (717): View more from Pennsylvania

  I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.

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  (717): I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked. http://tfl.nu/cil2
  Replies (55) Good night (715) Bad night (5441)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.

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  (314): You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning. http://tfl.nu/x67v
  Replies (42) Good night (926) Bad night (8274)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."

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  (954): I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers." http://tfl.nu/vnij
  Replies (40) Good night (5523) Bad night (900)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch

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  (954): my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch http://tfl.nu/nq1q
  Replies (12) Good night (3159) Bad night (1133)
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  (770): View more from Georgia

  I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..

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  (770): I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean.. http://tfl.nu/mv06
  Replies (24) Good night (1009) Bad night (4513)
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  (503): View more from Oregon

  Mattress luging...It's a long story.

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  (503): Mattress luging...It's a long story. http://tfl.nu/0tlk
  Replies (5) Good night (3272) Bad night (813)
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  (419): View more from Ohio

  PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.

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  (419): PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me. http://tfl.nu/iheo
  Replies (1) Good night (2043) Bad night (649)
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  (218): View more from Minnesota

  If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks

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  (218): If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks http://tfl.nu/wfaf
  Replies (6) Good night (1592) Bad night (734)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.

  (648): View more from

  100%

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  (616): I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners. (648): 100% http://tfl.nu/zuxh
  Replies (9) Good night (607) Bad night (2411)
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  (731): View more from Tennessee

  There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?

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  (731): There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight? http://tfl.nu/39pd
  Replies (8) Good night (1704) Bad night (559)
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  (780): View more from Alberta, CA

  Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help

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  (780): Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help http://tfl.nu/jtky
  Replies (4) Good night (584) Bad night (1081)
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  (240): View more from Maryland

  Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire

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  (240): Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire http://tfl.nu/bhj4
  Replies (1) Good night (998) Bad night (542)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.

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  (519): I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time. http://tfl.nu/5ti8
  Replies (7) Good night (955) Bad night (804)
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  (404): View more from Georgia

  Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.

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  (404): Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want. http://tfl.nu/ce96
  Replies (6) Good night (1983) Bad night (406)

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