Texts From Last Night

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  (727): View more from Florida

  I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there?

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  (727): I'm at the airport and there's a guy wearing all camoflash to go hunting .. Should I bump in to him and say woahh sorry didn't see you there? http://tfl.nu/2pix
  Replies (105) Good night (39419) Bad night (2204)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe.

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  (704): The Ukrainian kid just told me that our econ professor wants to bone me. Please tell me that phrase means something different in Eastern Europe. http://tfl.nu/8oi8
  Replies (9) Good night (1157) Bad night (4636)
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  (816): View more from Missouri

  Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned.

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  (816): Dude. I have been looking at your movie history on netflix and it is like looking at the rings of a tree. Only instead of telling me how old you are, it tells me when you were stoned. http://tfl.nu/ygc3
  Replies (14) Good night (5527) Bad night (963)
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  (219): View more from Indiana

  By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone

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  (219): By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone http://tfl.nu/czmq
  Replies (8) Good night (4184) Bad night (1028)
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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.

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  (502): If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was. http://tfl.nu/20o3
  Replies (6) Good night (3810) Bad night (1000)
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  (420): View more from

  The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome

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  (420): The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome http://tfl.nu/b0jj
  Replies (16) Good night (3797) Bad night (968)
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  (631): View more from New York

  She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?

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  (631): She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that? http://tfl.nu/dqln
  Replies (6) Good night (3883) Bad night (988)
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  (954): View more from Florida

  I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday

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  (954): I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday http://tfl.nu/q72i
  Replies (10) Good night (1808) Bad night (700)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts

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  (256): 2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts http://tfl.nu/zqnp
  Replies (8) Good night (1352) Bad night (661)
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  (860): View more from Connecticut

  Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back

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  (860): Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back http://tfl.nu/64sk
  Replies (7) Good night (461) Bad night (1080)
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.

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  (732): Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife. http://tfl.nu/naek
  Replies (3) Good night (356) Bad night (905)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue

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  (248): Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue http://tfl.nu/hgnj
  Replies (11) Good night (777) Bad night (430)
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  (248): View more from Michigan

  I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.

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  (248): I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time. http://tfl.nu/vtdb
  Replies (1) Good night (317) Bad night (493)
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  (727): View more from Florida

  I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.

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  (727): I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman. http://tfl.nu/9w0m
  Replies (6) Good night (731) Bad night (248)
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  (239): View more from Florida

  You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not

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  (239): You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not http://tfl.nu/vtfq
  Replies (5) Good night (262) Bad night (856)

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