i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I'm using the bullet from my cock ring to massage out my tmj lock jaw from giving too much head.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I have stickers all over my boobs and a lump the size of china on my forehead. today has not been good.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
Randomize
