"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
23 Roommates Share Secrets Their Roomie Thinks They Don’t Know
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
29 Cringeworthy Situations People Realized They Shouldn’t Be In
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
A blind man just put his face in my cleavage. I'm also crying.
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I'd cum for enchiladas.
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.