Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
five shots of tequila, anal and 3 cigarettes. not my best idea on a saturday afternoon.
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
You seriously knocked all the beer off the table, broke the beer pong table, broke the bar and kept yelling "you have to warn me first!" all because I wouldn't let you have another four loco
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.