Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I noticed how good my hair still looked. Apparently rum and coke in it helps it stay curly thru sex. May be using this more often.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
I wear drunk well.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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