READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
You were running around the house covered in syrup, with shredded down pillow feathers on your body screaming "AFLACK!" at everyone
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Some guy just ate one of the dog treats. I have him a free beer. I love my job.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
Randomize
