Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
Are my feet made of real feet?
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Would it be rude to use my vibrator? like he forfeited his right to be mad when he left me orgasmless...right?
Will you be doing the frenzied booty dance of passionate ownage on my penis tonight
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
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