Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I just found a 2 minute video on my phone of you throwing up in a fake plant.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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