Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
porn star boner night. come get it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
