I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
Confessions From 23 People Who Have Been Hiding Terrible Secrets
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots