Texts From Last Night

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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail

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  (919): The chick I went home with last night had a happy trail http://tfl.nu/0pa7
  Replies (30) Good night (946) Bad night (6955)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too

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  (610): on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too http://tfl.nu/acnp
  Replies (6) Good night (676) Bad night (4104)
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  (520): View more from Arizona

  Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.

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  (520): Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust. http://tfl.nu/b11e
  Replies (7) Good night (3877) Bad night (1087)
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  (408): View more from California

  we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can

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  (408): we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can http://tfl.nu/prvy
  Replies (6) Good night (976) Bad night (5180)
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  (317): View more from Indiana

  Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake

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  (317): Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake http://tfl.nu/x5vz
  Replies (22) Good night (1847) Bad night (4698)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.

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  (+44): We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this. http://tfl.nu/pfxy
  Replies (6) Good night (4563) Bad night (1247)
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  (423): View more from Tennessee

  I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake

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  (423): I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake http://tfl.nu/x2me
  Replies (5) Good night (916) Bad night (2285)
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  (626): View more from California

  wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?

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  (626): wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex? http://tfl.nu/tokd
  Replies (10) Good night (1060) Bad night (847)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.

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  (+44): Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill. http://tfl.nu/mubs
  Replies (6) Good night (1018) Bad night (696)
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  (703): View more from Virginia

  His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head

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  (703): His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head http://tfl.nu/cxta
  Replies (10) Good night (636) Bad night (1442)
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do

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  (203): Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do http://tfl.nu/ky18
  Replies (3) Good night (754) Bad night (368)
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  (330): View more from Ohio

  Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?

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  (330): Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex? http://tfl.nu/2s7k
  Replies (9) Good night (581) Bad night (361)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence

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  (403): I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence http://tfl.nu/jxt9
  Replies (1) Good night (570) Bad night (211)
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  (541): View more from Oregon

  Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops.

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  (541): Don't do shots out of Tostitos scoops. http://tfl.nu/zikq
  Replies (4) Good night (290) Bad night (370)
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  (563): View more from Iowa

  The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?

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  (563): The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what? http://tfl.nu/tq85
  Replies (1) Good night (302) Bad night (206)

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