ADVERTISEMENT

• (248): View more from Michigan

  I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  What'd you say?

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I told him I was sleep driving

  Fav 3 1857 802

  share tweet
  

• (856): View more from New Jersey

  i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!

  (917): View more from New York City

  question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?

  Fav 24 2631 776

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (314): View more from Missouri

  so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.

  Fav 16 4419 1194

  share tweet
  

• (248): View more from Michigan

  New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.

  Fav 126 17660 2566

  share tweet
  
• 

  Stay Away From These 29 Online Dating Red Flags

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (620): View more from Kansas

  I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs

  Fav 32 2083 3952

  share tweet
  

• (256): View more from Alabama

  this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.

  Fav 17 1388 6406

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises

  Fav 7 2445 904

  share tweet
  

• (336): View more from North Carolina

  Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning

  Fav 5 1773 727

  share tweet
  

• (571): View more from Virginia

  Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero

  Fav 9 1799 751

  share tweet
  
• 

  21 Rideshare Drivers Had to Drive These NSFW Passengers

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (239): View more from Florida

  Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.

  Fav 10 1182 766

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.

  Fav 1 1112 616

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (330): View more from Ohio

  STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.

  Fav 2 448 828

  share tweet
  

• (425): View more from Washington

  I am thankful for thumbs.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Because without thumbs, we would be dolphins.

  (425): View more from Washington

  Land dolphins.

  Fav 2 1273 604

  share tweet
  

• (+66): View more from Thailand

  Apparently nothing brings out sympathy in a barista like asking if they have a hangover special

  Fav 0 1035 598

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (661): View more from California

  ‎"He's not as cute as he was last week" and "I'm not as drunk as I was last week" are basically the same sentence.

  Fav 0 47 6

  share tweet
  

Randomize