Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(704): View more from North Carolina

so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low

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(704): so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low http://tfl.nu/2nm4

Replies (4) Good night (749) Bad night (1531)
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(978): View more from Massachusetts

During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand

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(978): During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand http://tfl.nu/wt71

Replies (35) Good night (4192) Bad night (1470)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.

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(203): That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song. http://tfl.nu/uhw8

Replies (13) Good night (532) Bad night (2053)
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(732): View more from New Jersey

mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign

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(732): mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign http://tfl.nu/djhl

Replies (29) Good night (5649) Bad night (912)
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(403): View more from Alberta, CA

Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'.

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(403): Even when three police cars surrounded us you kept telling us not to worry because 'only good things can happen'. http://tfl.nu/ube5

Replies (8) Good night (5700) Bad night (1299)
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(516): View more from New York

The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.

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(516): The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right. http://tfl.nu/nc3r

Replies (14) Good night (4121) Bad night (920)
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(917): View more from New York City

I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.

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(917): I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear. http://tfl.nu/517j

Replies (9) Good night (1321) Bad night (4368)
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(773): View more from Illinois

we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.

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(773): we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby. http://tfl.nu/gkxo

Replies (4) Good night (2767) Bad night (671)
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(443): View more from Maryland

THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED.

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(443): THEY'RE. IN. YOUR. BED. THEY RANDOMLY SHOW UP. AND GET IN YOUR BED. http://tfl.nu/dr1s

Replies (13) Good night (2168) Bad night (1391)
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(601): View more from Mississippi

How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?

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(601): How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to? http://tfl.nu/gwpj

Replies (7) Good night (2122) Bad night (780)
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(650): View more from California

Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it

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(650): Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it http://tfl.nu/zs3i

Replies (8) Good night (3005) Bad night (1066)
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(214): View more from Texas

I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship

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(214): I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship http://tfl.nu/dbjp

Replies (3) Good night (1141) Bad night (509)
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(203): View more from Connecticut

Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment

(410): View more from Maryland

Thank god I got my shit together

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(203): Because if not I was going to quote Ryan Lochte as punishment (410): Thank god I got my shit together http://tfl.nu/mezm

Replies (2) Good night (882) Bad night (469)
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(860): View more from Connecticut

I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs.

(860): View more from Connecticut

My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie.

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(860): I've somehow found myself in an emotionally abusive relationship with a married man who gives me drugs. (860): My life is quickly turning into a Lifetime movie. http://tfl.nu/2uqc

Replies (4) Good night (365) Bad night (867)
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(360): View more from Washington

I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.

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(360): I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar. http://tfl.nu/n37f

Replies (0) Good night (288) Bad night (192)

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