Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Tonight was like the Noah's Ark of alcohol. I had to have two of everything.
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
I opened the door, threw up on the street, wiped my mouth and flashed a thumbs up to all of the cars behind us and kept on driving
beggars cant be choosers....im desperate and he has a dick. he checks all the boxes.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
She was blowing air into green onions and tying knots in them to make "balloons"
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