Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
I believe in your delicious
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
Randomize
