making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
Miserable. My projectile vomit just woke me up from a 5.5 hour nap.
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I will give you the couch, a small portion of the fridge, and plenty of beer.
Got my future figured out. I'm oddly comforted. Thanks, bro.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
To be honest I've become too lazy for the work involved in getting laid.
You run marathons and you're too lazy for sex? Priorities, man.
Touche.
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Randomize
