I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I believe some people would call last night an orgy.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
I am eating deep fried cinnamon rolls and I found a lighter in my sprinkles. I miss you.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
I walk in and my mom has a Christian workout program playing. It's like, gospel music with an "electronic" beat to go with it. And then they try to save your soul at the end. I hate being home.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
