U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
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