Umm I'm too high to move.
i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize
