She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I making dinner, so you might want to actually come home tonight.
oh, you finally did the dishes then?
No, bought new ones.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
in retrospect i think my mom tried to raise me gay
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
