their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
We were naked in bed for hours and we didn't have sex. Either he's gay or he wants to respect me. Neither of which I approve of.
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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