i wish peter jackson would direct porn
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
Are you alive?
I googled "I don't want to vomit anymore," and "how to rip out your uvula," at 9 am this morning, but I'm still here. Uvula and all.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Maybe you can just make seal noises during sex and we can call it good
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
She has the best kind of daddy issues
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
