I told him I would sleep with him if he could name all the colors of the wind.
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to miss hockey season. It was the best excuse to get drunk on a Tuesday night.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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