We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I was a little curious what "unspeakable" things he could possibly do to my feet
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
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