Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Show him your tits if he says no
They're not help-me-out-of-jams tits. They're I-fake-people-into-thinking-they-look-good tits.
He threw me a bud light and when I opened it he smacked it out of my hand because "Dave giveth, and Dave taketh away". WTF
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
Randomize
