Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Last night I passed a kidney stone as I came inside her. Worst. Experience. Ever.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
This strange Italian man told me he wants to take me for ice cream and kept calling me "tomato" from tinder
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Randomize
