no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Babe, I need to be clear. I DO NOT WANT TO HAVE ANAL. Never. No anal. No "talking about it"
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Got back to find Sarah in her underwear eating peanut butter and watching Arrested Development with the thermostat at eighty.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
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