I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Had a burrito last night in your honor
That's the nicest thing you've ever done
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
I feel like I could get pregnant watching Zac Efron do yard work in this movie
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Randomize