my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
She told me I should be a condom model.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
How likely is it that we can see each other tomorrow night? I want to shave my legs in good faith but it's cold outside and my bathroom is drafty.
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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