I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
no, no, no. omg. i said i wanted a SANDWICH! not a picture of your dick. damn cant you read? SANDWICH! now im blinded. great job.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
Randomize
