they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Successfully masturbated while balancing on an exercise ball. my greatest accomplishment?
Probably
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
