Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
I just figured out that you can toast a marshmallow with a butter knife and a cigarette lighter. I'm like a retarded Mister Wizard
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
We made the bar tender tell us how he proposed to his girlfriend. In detail. While we made gushing noises. We are embarrassments to females everywhere
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I woke up next to him fully clothed but my thong was around his neck. Polling to decide if we had sex or not starts now.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Dude, I have everything I need for meth here.
YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO MAKE METH IN OUR APARTMENT.
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
just learned i can hear my fish chewing his food WHILE HES IN HIS BOWL. im going to have to call you back.
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