omg. I had the wrong window open and I accidentaly posted my credit card # on twitter
Whats your twitter name
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
21 Of The Most Regrettable Tattoo Ideas Ever
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Is it true if I say your name three times, you'll appear and whore everything up?
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
He's pretending to be my boyfriend so that my family won't bother us when we sneak off to smoke weed
just creeped your profile pictures and you should feel satisfied in knowing that you had great eyebrows even before people started drawing them on