Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
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I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
He went 'unicorn hunting' and lost a fight with a fence. That's how he ended up in the ER.
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Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
he called me his ex's name during sex then proceeded to cry while still in me
His cat just sat there and simultaneously bobbed his head up and down while I blew him