I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
Benefits of having to stay in jail for the weekend: learned how to make my own make up out of colored pencils. Also how to make use of toothpaste for hair products. Downfall was probably getting hit on by a murderer. Only me.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
