they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Too tired to do the dishes so I made mac and cheese in a teapot. There's still some left if you want some...
mom just found 19 empty wine bottles in my closet. i hate spring cleaning
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
This guy just asked me to stab his arm with my keys to make sure he wasn't dying.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.