He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
25 People Admit the Worst Things They’ve Done for Good Reasons
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
25 Things All Men Can Definitely Agree On
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.