wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
he is the anna nicole to my 90 year-old billionaire. i'm grateful that he's fucking me, so i'm buying him shit.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
Everything smells like vodka and bologna. WHAT DID YOU DO?
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.