i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
Welcome to drunk texts. Live from Margaritaville, it's Saturday night!!!
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I just used my citation as a bookmark. Want a beer?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
