you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
We got the DJ into it too! "If there are any dudes into other dudes out there, my man mark is looking to get pounded. Buy him a drink stat!"
I had a drink called "the white nun." It tasted like Marshmallows, and celibacy.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
