I wanna passion pit in your ass
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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