This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i just carried on a conversation with my mother from another room mid-ejaculation. you would have done the same
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
Plus she can make a mean sandwich! That's all I really need. Well that and foot jobs...
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
FOUND: my underwear in the cabinet above the toilet. What the actual fuck.
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
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