for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
michael burned off one of his eyebrows making a pizza so he had to shave off the other one to make it look even. it doesn't look right, but I'd still bang him.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
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