let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Tell me when you get here. I'm drinking beer in the bushes next to your house, and I put my hoodie up because I was cold. Pretty sure everyone lowkey thinks i'm homeless.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
you know she was a bad idea when your mom offers to pay for an eHarmony account
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
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