I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
Trying to figure out if I'm the second dude she hooked up with yesterday. I feel like a consolation prize
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
NoShamevember. You game?
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
Randomize
