look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I feel like I have two modes: Super fuckin high, or super giddy from caffeine. I have learned to accept this.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
I tore the muscle in my left calf at the gym and still spent all evening in heels. UNSTOPPABLE!
I wore a bird inflatable and still got laid. So there's that.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I'm so baked, I spent the last hour trying to screencapture the cracks on my phone.
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
