haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
I decided that $2 and a kiss on the cheek was a great tip for the pizza girl. No one is REALLY sure how much I've have to drink.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
I wonder what blackout Alex would think of her?
probably "functioning vagina, must touch"
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
Nothing says "I Love you" like my dick in a pizza box
Brought some lesbians back to the light side of the force
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
