I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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