Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
just took my temp. 103. i wonder how tylenol and jager bombs are gonna mix
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
