Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
I just saw a bunch of drunk old guys riding on the side of a modified old fire truck yelling at cars and smoking while they looked for parking...promise we will be just like them when we grow up?
I'm craigslisting fire trucks as we speak
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
How do I explain to work that I woke up in my underwear on a trampoline and that I'm not coming in?
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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