just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Could have been worst, could have seen me bent over biting her carpet while her son was inside me, i think i would have respnded with "i was just trying to be quiet"
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Can you think of a sexual word rhyming with snorkel?
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
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