What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
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