Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
why the fuck does my google maps say i'm in punjab?!?!? u think it has to do with like...outsourcing?
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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