I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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