Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She swung at the pinata with crutches
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
When confronted with a choice of going home or fucking the band ALWAYS FUCK THE BAND!!
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize