I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
You just want me for my pizza coupons and my penis.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize