There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
Lots of alcohol. 3rd graders fuck me now.
Auto correct or actual 3rd graders?
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Water skiing blazed is the most scary thing I've ever done.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
Also, apparently I'm only coherent when I'm drunk sexting. And then I'm grammatically perfect and impressively eloquent.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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