The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
Apparently she got a minor consumption for using vodka soak tapmons
Does that work!! Please say yes
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
It's like all the guys I keep around if I wanna have sex with all got mad at the same time. I guess I'll get out my vibrator again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
Normally roommates threatening each other with knives would be too much crazy for me, but I don't have much going on right now and I feel like this could get interesting. So I think I'm gonna ride this shit out for a while.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
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