Did I tell you that you looked cute last night? I looked at the pictures. I lied.
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
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