Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Is it sad to eat a candy bra by yourself?
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
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