Porn is love you can see.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I'm pretty sure I had my drunk fortune told by a gay Miss Cleo last night. At least it's advice sober me can agree with.
High water is the most godliest tasting water in the world.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
