If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
thanks for not screaming that I'm pregnant when that guy was giving me his number.
either she said she was feeling frisky or eating friskies..i was too drunk to understand.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
What a good family we'd make, him and I and our kids and his good dick.
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize