I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
come over after work tomorrow, liz and i will make all of your wildest dreams come true. so long as your wildest dreams involve drinking champagne at my house with two girls who won't have sex with you.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
He climbed on the counter and announced it was time for something called The Cocktacular and all the girls immediately left. He cockblocked the entire fraternity!
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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