Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I was writing 'DISTRACTION' across my chest in Sharpie when my boob fell out. Right on camera.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
Randomize
