never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
I'm pretty sure my liver died in Reno and my intestines are doing hula hoops around my asshole. The bachelor party was that good.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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